Game EXP: Egg (PC)

 

Egg

Release Date: February 3, 2024

Systems: Windows, Steam OS, Linux

Publisher: KolbasinoGames

Developer: KolbasinoGames

Time Spent: 39 Minutes 20 Seconds

Game Play Video on YouTube

I was morbidly intrigued by Egg and the 4,011 positive reviews this clicker game had on Steam.  I saw that the one achievement in the game titled "You Did This" had the subtitle of "Collected 1.000.000 Eggs" and figured that this meant you had to click 1,000,000 eggs, presumably collecting one egg with each click.  God forbid that each click makes microcracks along the egg, and only after 1,000 clicks does the egg crack open, and you collect it.  

But no.  Each click has zero effect on the egg that is slowly rotating only a few degrees in each direction; only the number at the top of the screen increases with each click.  There's a separate window in the upper left that looks like an egg above a cloud.  I don't know what that is supposed to mean.

I don't know what any of this clicker game is supposed to mean.  Is it a troll?  Is it an experiment to see what people will do for a single achievement?  Admittedly, I saw that only 3.9% of people who have started Egg have received this achievement and thought, "How hard could it be to click a mouse 1,000,000 times?

Well, I timed myself and found out that I can click a mouse pretty reliably at the rate of 100 clicks every 20.5 seconds, or 4.88 clicks per second, which won't get me anywhere near a Starcraft tournament.  And while still clicking, I figured out that it would take me roughly 55.5 hours to reach 1,000,000 clicks.  The other kicker to this game is that there is no save function.  You have to have the game open the entire time you're clicking.  

55.5 hours of constant clicking.  More if you think you need to sleep, eat, and/or expel bodily waste.

So let's say you're clicking 100 clicks every 20 seconds.  That's 9000 clicks every 30 minutes.  Factor in a one-minute break every 30 minutes.  And because you're a reasonable person, you're getting nearly seven hours of sleep per night.  And factor in an hour for breakfast, lunch, dinner, and bathroom breaks.  Every 24-hour period comes out to:

• Gaming for 15.5 Hours = 279,000 Clicks
• 1 Hour 32 minutes = Breaks/Eating/Bathrooming
• 6 Hours 58 minutes = Sleeping

By the time you earn that "You Did This" achievement in Egg, you will have played this game and had it open the whole time; Steam will have logged nearly +/- 81 hours, or three plus days.  Or put in another way.  If you started this game today, Friday, March 6th at 10:00 AM local time, you will reach 1,000,000 clicks around 7PM local time on Monday, March 9th.

No.

~JWfW/JDub/The Faceplantman/Jaconian

This Is Your Sense Of Failure