Game EXP: Egg (PC)

 

Egg

Release Date: February 3, 2024

Systems: Windows, Steam OS, Linux

Publisher: KolbasinoGames

Developer: KolbasinoGames

Time Spent: 39 Minutes 20 Seconds

Game Play Video on YouTube

I was morbidly intrigued by Egg and the 4,011 positive reviews this clicker game had on Steam.  I saw that the one achievement in the game titled "You Did This" had the subtitle of "Collected 1.000.000 Eggs" and figured that this meant you had to click 1,000,000 eggs, presumably collecting one egg with each click.  God forbid that each click makes microcracks along the egg, and only after 1,000 clicks does the egg crack open, and you collect it.  

But no.  Each click has zero effect on the egg that is slowly rotating only a few degrees in each direction; only the number at the top of the screen increases with each click.  There's a separate window in the upper left that looks like an egg above a cloud.  I don't know what that is supposed to mean.

I don't know what any of this clicker game is supposed to mean.  Is it a troll?  Is it an experiment to see what people will do for a single achievement?  Admittedly, I saw that only 3.9% of people who have started Egg have received this achievement and thought, "How hard could it be to click a mouse 1,000,000 times?

Well, I timed myself and found out that I can click a mouse pretty reliably at the rate of 100 clicks every 20.5 seconds, or 4.88 clicks per second, which won't get me anywhere near a Starcraft tournament.  And while still clicking, I figured out that it would take me roughly 55.5 hours to reach 1,000,000 clicks.  The other kicker to this game is that there is no save function.  You have to have the game open the entire time you're clicking.  

55.5 hours of constant clicking.  More if you think you need to sleep, eat, and/or expel bodily waste.

So let's say you're clicking 100 clicks every 20 seconds.  That's 9000 clicks every 30 minutes.  Factor in a one-minute break every 30 minutes.  And because you're a reasonable person, you're getting nearly seven hours of sleep per night.  And factor in an hour for breakfast, lunch, dinner, and bathroom breaks.  Every 24-hour period comes out to:

• Gaming for 15.5 Hours = 279,000 Clicks
• 1 Hour 32 minutes = Breaks/Eating/Bathrooming
• 6 Hours 58 minutes = Sleeping

By the time you earn that "You Did This" achievement in Egg, you will have played this game and had it open the whole time; Steam will have logged nearly +/- 81 hours, or three plus days.  Or put in another way.  If you started this game today, Friday, March 6th at 10:00 AM local time, you will reach 1,000,000 clicks around 7PM local time on Monday, March 9th.

No.

~JWfW/JDub/The Faceplantman/Jaconian

This Is Your Sense Of Failure

MIDI Week Singles: "Underwater Scene: - Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (NES)

 

"Underwater Scene" from Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles on the Nintendo Entertainment System (1989)
Composers: Jun Funahashi & Hidenori Maezawa
Album: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles NES - Vinyl Soundtrack
Label: Limited Run Games
Publisher: Nintendo of America & Ultra Software Corporation
Developer: Konami

Let me introduce you to a song that will induce PTSD in an entire generation of gamers.  And if you're worried about the final 20 seconds, don't worry, I didn't tack on the two-timer running-out cues, although I did briefly consider it.  I thought that just one stress-inducing track would be enough, so I leave you with "Underwater Scene."

But is it actually stress-inducing on its own?  Sure, the song conjures up flashbacks to swimming through tightly bound forests of electrified kelp, patiently waiting for electrified barriers to cycle off, and hunting for bombs to disarm, while a counter at the bottom of the screen counts down from 2:20.  The 3/4 (or 6/8?) time signature is classic of underwater music, which plays heavily against how anxious this level is, often waiting for the electrified gates to cycle through so you can swim past them, either waiting stationary at the bottom along the rocks, or flutter-tapping the A button to stay afloat in hopes of maintaing some semblance of momentum.  Only to have the barrier turn on right at the last millisecond, zapping away a full block of health.

Happy first week of the end of the first quarter of 2026.

~JWfW/JDub/The Faceplantman/Jaconian

And Laughing Planned the End

P.S.  In yet another instance of looking up when I last wrote about Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, because I remember turning the MIDI Week Single into a months-long search for composer information, I was flabbergasted to realize that that was 13 years ago!  And, it wasn't even for a MIDI Week Single article, but for a Game Scores article.

P.P.S.  It's been nine years since our last Game Scores article.

Monthly Update: March, 2026

 

With our mid-month switch to an actual URL and not one directly connected with Blogger (although that's still where we do all of our editing), I found myself going through old articles.  Specifically, 12 years of MIDI Week Singles articles.  When we first started the article series back on TwoBoysAndTheirBlog back in 2014, we would typically link to videos we found on YouTube or directly upload them through Blogger ourselves.  And over the years, some of those videos we linked to essentially became dead links for one reason or another.  An account might have been deactivated through policy violations, or the account might have just taken the video down or made it private.  In one instance, the account toggled a switch somewhere that prevented the video from being linked to on a third-party website.

During this year (and possibly into next year?), I'll be updating the videos in our MIDI Week Single articles that have gone dormant.  I'm normally not one for going back and changing anything in our previously published articles as a matter of preservation, but in this case, I feel justified.  A key component of our MIDI Week Single series is sharing music, and if that music is no longer present and only the words remain, that's taking away 50%+ of why the article was published in the first place.  These videos will be uploaded to our MIDI Week Singles playlist up on YouTube with hyperlinks to their original article.  I might include updated information on the YouTube video, and/or include updated album art, but the information on the MIDI Week Singles article will remain as it was originally published.  Additionally, I have also created a MIDI Week Singles Archive playlist where I'll be uploading songs from the MIDI Week Singles articles we posted on TwoBoysAndTheirBlog 12 years ago.  I'll try to upload at least a song a week, which would bring us to January 2027, and that's not including the 84 MIDI Week Singles articles I need to update with updated YouTube videos.  The same goes for these videos, where I will include any information that's been updated from when we first posted up to 12 years ago.

It's a project currently consisting of 133 entries, but if you know me and my penchant for updating ID3 tags on any acquired video game soundtracks, this is the kind of project I feel that I thrive on.  At the moment, I won't have a schedule for replacing the MIDI Week Single videos from StageSelectStart, but starting today (Monday, March 2nd), I'll be uploading one video to the MIDI Week Singles Archive playlist until we run out of songs.

On the video game front, I've actually finished a couple of games, partially in thanks to The Squire wanting to play games like Castle Crashers.  We're now on a mission to unlock as many characters, which is going to take a while since a lot of characters can only be unlocked after beating the game with an unlocked character and every game with a new character starts at level 1.  On my own, though, I also finished Shank (this was actually at the beginning of December), and Cthulhu Saves the World.  I started in on Bastion, and I'm thinking that after that game, I'll probably pick up either Braid or Sword and Sorcery EP, you know, all those games from early Humble Indie Bundles that I only seemed to collect and never play.  I've also still been playing Ace Combat 7, although less frequently after crashing a lot during a particular nighttime harbor mission.  With The Squire, it's been a lot of Mario Kart World versus mode with all items turned off except for Kamek, and if you know about that item, then just imagine 24-48 Kameks zipping through the race knocking your racer off balance, turning you into a semi-random character, and creating some kind of obstacle in the course like large spike balls, flocks of parabidibuds, a gaggle of large Goombas, exploding Bob-ombs, and various types of Charging Chucks.  It's absolute chaos.  The Squire is also on a kick to unlock as many characters in Castle Crashers, some of which only unlock after beating the game with a specific character, and since unlocked levels are tied to specific characters, I'm either going to need to invest a couple of hundred hours in this game, or he'll lose interest within the year.

In the streaming/TV-verse, Conklederp and I have been making our way through season 2 of The Expanse, averaging about 20-30 minutes a night if I don't finish up nightly typings here before 10:30, otherwise we can make it through about an episode a night.  I also really want to start in on A Knight of the Seven Kingdoms after thoroughly enjoying the graphic novels and the trilogy compilation novel.  I think we just need to get a password from someone so that we can log onto HBO Go/HBO MAX/MAX/HBO for the umteenth time.  And since we're talking screentime, I also picked up THX 1138 right after Robert Duvall passed away, and feeling like I should probably see this film.  I genuinely don't remember the last "new" movie I saw in the theatre, but I'm pretty certain it was after Himo and I saw Alien: Romulus.... right?

Huh......

~JWfW/JDub/The Faceplantman/Jaconian

At A Dark Bewitchin' Hour